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SPIRITUALITY, PRAYER, THE TWELVE STEPS AND JUDAISM |
Abraham Twerski is an Orthodox Jewish Rabbi and psychiatrist, who started a treatment program back in the early 1970s in Pittsburgh, PA.
By Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.
The fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Al-Anon are
of inestimable value in the recovery from alcoholism and chemical dependency.
Not infrequently, there is a resistance on the part of Jews to participate on
the grounds that these programs have a religious orientation that is non-Jewish.
Let us first dispense with some extraneous objections.
"A.A. is Christian because meetings are held in church basements," say some.
While it is true that the majority of A.A. meetings are in churches, it should
also be mentioned that few Jewish facilities have welcomed A.A. The myth that
Jews do not become alcoholic has resulted in an alienation of alcoholism
treatment programs from the Jewish community.
Just as there is a lack of alcoholism expertise in Jewish health agencies, so is
there a dearth of synagogues and Jewish community centers that have opened their
doors to A.A. Several years ago there were virtually no synagogue -- based A.A.
meetings.
Today there are communities that have one or more. If more rabbis and community
leaders would overcome their resistance and denial, there is no question that
more meetings will be held in Jewish institutions.
"A.A. meetings involve Christian liturgy," say others. While A.A. meetings
generally close with the Lord's Prayer, there is no rule in A.A. that precludes
substituting a Jewish prayer. While others are reciting the Lord's Prayer, one
may say the 23rd Psalm or any other Jewish prayer.
"All the available literature on spirituality in recovery has Christian
origins," is another common complaint. Like the first objection, this is not
inherent in A.A., but a default by Jewish theologians. Again, the prevailing
lack of awareness about alcoholism among Jews is responsible for the absence of
literature on spirituality.
Hopefully, this will be corrected with the increasing interest in the problem.
In some communities, knowledgeable rabbis have begun to provide sessions on
spirituality for recovering Jews.
These objections are similar to the various forms of denial and resistance
inherent to the disease of alcoholism and the awareness that help must be
sought. Even after a person accepts the presence of a problem and the need for
treatment, there is often resistance to Alcoholics Anonymous and
Al-Anon.
Permit me to list the most typical forms of resistance:
Concern that one will meet social or business
acquaintances at meetings, and that one's alcoholism will be "exposed."
While there are various reasons for resistance to A.A., the rationalization that
it is alien to Jewishness is a comfortable one and frequently exploited.
Strangely, one can hear this objection from people who have broken all identity
with Judaism. It is a rationalization that is also enjoyed by those who have no
reservations about intermarriage. Clearly, objections of this sort are a
resistance maneuver and should be recognized as much.
The essence of Alcoholics Anonymous is contained in the Twelve Steps, the
adoption of which is a sine qua non for participation in the fellowship. Much
confusion can be eliminated if we look at the compatibility of the steps with
Jewish theology.
Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives
had become unmanageable. This step is the foundation of recovery since it
identifies the problem. Unless one accepts that a problem exists, efforts to do
something about the problem will be futile. Clearly, this Step has no religious
connotations.
The First Step is without a doubt the most difficult. Typically the alcoholic
will deny the problem even when the evidence is blatant and irrefutable. The
loss of control over alcohol, whether it is dependency or the inability to stop,
is usually recognized by everyone except the drinker. The physical, emotional,
social or occupational deterioration of life may be quite evident to family,
friends, employer or physician, but the drinker often has the delusion that
things are just fine, or that his difficulties are due to the actions of others.
To the active alcoholic Step One is terrifying because it implies that the use
of alcohol must be totally abandoned. It is also formidable because the person
may perceive admission of powerlessness as a shortcoming or weakness.
Considering that alcoholics are invariably lacking in self-esteem, this
admission is extremely threatening to the ego. Anything which can help bolster
the fragile ego of the alcoholic will make acceptance of powerlessness and the
recognition that one has lost control much easier. For the same reason, punitive
behavior toward the alcoholic will only depress his self-esteem and make
acceptance more difficult. Spiritual guidance, directed at improving one's sense
of worth, is thus helpful in facilitating the first step and initiating
recovery.
Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could
restore
us to sanity.
The Talmud states "A person's temptation becomes more intense each day, and were
it not that God helps him, it would be impossible for him to resist (Sukkah,
52b).
This statement is universal, applying to all people, great or small, wealthy or
poor, learned or unlearned. The Talmud tells us that even though giving in to
destructive impulses may be recognized to be foolish and detrimental, no one
would be able to resist these urges without the help of God. One's own
resources, regardless of how great they may seem, are simply inadequate. Step
Two is thus a statement of fundamental Jewish belief.
Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the
care of God as we understood Him.
The phrase "God as we understand Him" is a recurring one in A.A. literature. The
wording was intended to avoid identification with any particular denomination.
Step Three is a logical consequence of One and Two. If I've lost control
of my life, and there's a greater power that can restore my sanity, then it
follows that I must be ready to turn my life over to that higher power. But, for
many, this step is almost as difficult to accept as the first. In part, this is
due to the contradiction between the verbal acknowledgment of the loss of
control and the obstinate efforts in early recovery to maintain control.
Yet turning one's life and will over to the care of God does not mean that one
can relinquish responsibility. Although the quoted principle of the Talmud
indicates that unaided man is helpless. It clearly does not imply that an
individual should make no effort and place total responsibility on God. The
Talmud states that God's "Assistance" implies that one is taking some action,
but needs help. A person must do everything within his power to make his life
constructive and productive. Divine help, if sought, will be forthcoming only
when one does his share of the work.
Step Four: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step Five: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the
exact nature of our wrongs.
All the works of Jewish moralists and ethicians are replete with need for
cheshbon hanefesh. This is a detailed personal accounting taken daily, as well
as a more general overview of the direction, accomplishment and shortcomings of
one's life taken periodically, with special emphasis in the period beginning
with Rosh Hashanah and concluding with Yom Kippur.
The great Chassidic master, Rabbi Elimelech of Lizensk, states in his "Brief
List for Proper Living" that "one must repeatedly confide in another person,
whether spiritual counselor or trusted friend, all improper thoughts and
impulses which come to one's heart and mind, whether these occur during
meditation, while lying idle awaiting onset of sleep, or at any time during the
day, and one should not withhold anything because of the shame of
embarrassment."
Anyone familiar with the siddur knows that confession before God is not
restricted to Yom Kippur. A detailed confession is required twice daily.
Perhaps the greatest difficulty here is admitting to oneself, and one must stand
in admiration of the wisdom of this requirement. Many individuals make verbal
confessions from which they are completely detached. Confessions that are not
accompanied by a sincere regret for the wrong deed and commitment to change are
worse than worthless.
A sincere admission of a mistake to God or to another person elicits
forgiveness, and so should this admission elicit forgiveness to oneself. Yet
many people seem unable to forgive themselves even when the misdeed is
acknowledged and sincerely regretted. These individuals carry a heavy load of
guilt, and this remains a hindrance to all. For the alcoholic, this unalleviated
guilt is a frequent cause of relapse.
Step Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defectsof
character. Step Seven: Humbly asked Him to remove all these defects of
character.
These Steps reflect an understanding of human behavior, which is well-recognized
in Jewish ethics. In Judaism, man is defined not as homo sapiens, a hominoid
with intelligence, but as homo spiritus, a hominoid with a divine spirit.
According to Genesis "God blew into his nostrils a spirit of life, and man
became a living being"(II.7). Man's distinction from lower forms of life lies in
his spirit, not his intellect.
Man is thus essentially a biological animal with all of the lusts, cravings,
impulses and drives that are natural to all animals. In contrast, however, man
has a spirit, which enables him to master these innate urges. But all that
unaided man can do is master these forces. He cannot eradicate them any more
than he can change the color of his eyes.
While man alone can't relinquish undesirable internal drives, God can, if his
help is sought. A prerequisite for divine intervention, however, is that man
first must do all that is within his power to subdue undesirable traits. A
person who prays for divine intervention to rid himself of undesirable lust
impulses while, at the same time, indulging in sexually provocative literature,
can hardly expect divine assistance.
Whether it be lust, anger, hate, envy or greed, maximum efforts on one's own
part must fully be exhausted before a divine response can be expected. This is
the "readiness" required in Step Six and the justification for Step Seven.
Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing
to make amends to them all.
Step Nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except
when to do so would injure them or others.
The Shulchan Aruch, or Code of Jewish Law, states that all the atonement
possible is ineffective if an individual has harmed another, unless forgiveness
from the victim has been sought. If the wrong action resulted in financial loss,
then adequate restitution is required. If the offended party refuses to grant
forgiveness, he is to be approached three times. If he remains obstinate in
refusing forgiveness, and the offender sincerely regrets his behavior, Divine
forgiveness is assured. If the victim has died, the Shulchan Aruch requires that
one take a minyan (a quorum of ten people) and visit the burial place to
publicly ask forgiveness.
Step Ten: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong
promptly admitted it.
Taking a personal inventory on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is not sufficient.
This must be an ongoing process. The need for recognizing a wrong and promptly
admitting it is stressed by the Talmud. The longer one delays in admitting a
sin, the more apt he is to explain away and justify his behavior, until the sin
may even appear as the right course of action.
Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our
conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge
of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
One of the first prayers upon rising asks for Divine guidance and the strength
to do God's will. In Ethics of the Fathers, the Talmud states, "Make His will
your will, and negate your will before His" (11,4).
Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these
steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these
principles in all our affairs.
Everywhere in Jewish ethics there is a great emphasis on mutual responsibility
for one another's actions. "No man is an island." Just as some diseases are
contagious, so is moral and spiritual deterioration. Those who are fortunate
enough to achieve a measure of spirituality to not have the right to keep this
enlightenment to themselves. The Yiddish phrase, "He is a zaddik in pelz" refers
to the pious one who keeps warm by wrapping himself in furs. In other words, he
maintains a selfish piety.
Warmth should be obtained by building a fire so that others can benefit from the
heat as well.
A.A. has set an example for reaching out a helping hand. It is not unusual for a
person to be awakened in the early hours of the morning in subzero weather and
be asked to respond to a call for help from a total stranger. The call is heeded
even though the helper realizes that the stranger may change his mind or has
fallen into a drunken stupor. Yet recovering alcoholics respond because their
disease has taught them in very practical terms that "we either make it
together, or we don't make it at all."
Alcoholics Anonymous is not a religion and cannot take the place of religion.
Religion deals with ultimates, especially with the ultimate purpose of Man's
presence on earth. All Jews need to learn more about their faith and learn from
the unlimited resources of Jewish knowledge. The recovering alcoholic has a
particular need for positive direction and sense of purpose in his life. A.A.
does not provide this. It has been said that new ideas often have a three-stage
course. At first, the idea is thought to be anti-Jewish. Then it is decided it
may be compatible with Jewishness after all.
Finally, it is declared that Jews thought of it first. This theory
notwithstanding, it is difficult to see how anyone can point to any conflict
between A.A. philosophy and Judaism.
It is important for Jews as a whole, but especially for Jewish spiritual and
communal leaders, to learn more about alcoholism and chemical dependency. In
addition to the methods that have been found effective in promoting recovery,
the treasury of Jewish tradition and learning has much to offer. A.A. can be an
invaluable ally in the comprehensive spiritual growth for recovering Jews
everywhere.
THE JACS JOURNAL© Vol: 3, No-l, 1993
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